Top 5 Tracks About Eating Pussy

In Hip Hop (especially in the early 90’s) there is something I like to call The Big Three. These are three biggest rules that almost every MC in Hip-Hop must abide by.

Rule 1# don’t smoke or sell crack

Rule 2# never fuck without a condom

And most importantly,

Rule 3# never eat pussy

Back then eating pussy was considered a sin. To be caught eating pussy was the equivalent of putting a vagina shaped gun to your mouth and squeezing the trigger! People found it disgusting and weak to eat pussy and would probably ex-communicate you. You aren’t going to want to talk to a man with a mouthful of yeast infection are you? Regardless there were MC’s out there who weren’t afraid to bang their fist to their chest and scream proudly I EAT PUSSY. This article is to acknowledge the brave MC’s who put their balls on the line to fight for what they believe in.

                                                                                                                                              

5: Motion Man – Porno Moustache

Album: Adult Situations

Label:

Year: 2010

A porno moustache can mean two things; the first is the standard, 70’s Tom Selleck porno style moustache cut. The second meaning is a bit harder to explain, so just follow these easy steps.

Step 1: place a waist high mirror in front of you bed

Step 2: Lay her down on her back so her head is facing away from the mirror

Step 3: Dive face first into her pussy and look into the mirror

And that my friend is a porno moustache.

                                                                                                                                              

4: AMG – Lick ‘Em Low Lover

Album: Bitch Betta Have My Money

Label: Select

Year: 1991

This is the type of high energy track you eat pussy to; nearly at the finish line and your neck is starting to cramp? Chuck on Lick Em’ Low Lover and watch in amazement as your tongue dances to the rhythm!

It’s only just over 2 minutes long, but 2 minutes is all AMG needs to make his point. You want more women to start flocking to you? Eat pussy. It’s as simple as that. However, like the champ AMG is, he doesn’t stop there. He takes it a step further eating out there butt cracks till they are “screaming and farting at the same time”.

                                                                                                                                              

3: H.W.A. – Great Tazte-Lezz Fillaz

Album: Az Much Ass Azz U Want

Label: Ruthless

Year: 1994

H.W.A. weren’t the greatest Hip-Hop group but if I had to choose their best song, it would definitely be Great Tazte-Lezz Fillaz. The track is smooth as silk from production to delivery, but don’t let that fool you, this song is nasty as fuck! “And you say you don’t eat pussy motherfucker/but if you ask me you ‘bout a lying motherfucker/cause your tongue is like a sponge, and it’s sucking up my cum”. Let’s not forget the chorus which contains sounds of a man sucking and slurping on a woman’s pussy as she pressures him to keep going with a seductive horn just blaring in the background. While H.W.A. weren’t the greatest Hip-Hop group, they were damn good at being the nastiest female MC’s on the mic!

                                                                                                                                              

2: Pooh-Man – Eating Pussy

Album: Funky As I Wanna Be

Label: Jive

Year: 1992

With an album cover like that, you know Pooh-Man is serious about diving face first into muff. The intro sounds like something out of an 80’s horror film. Dark ominous tones fill the atmosphere while a woman moans in pleasure, begging Pooh-Man to continue eating her till she nuts (her words, not mine). When it comes to fucking bitches and eating pussy, Pooh-Man is extremely nonchalant about the situation, as nothing but the phrases “I’m eating pussy” & “I’m licking pussy” are all that is said throughout the chorus. He straight up casually goes through his sexual experiences from eating pussy with whipped cream to 69ing for Three Hours! Pooh-Man is truly a pussy eating machine!

                                                                                                                                              

1: JCD and the Dawg Pound – Bon Apetit

Album: A Day in the Life

Label: Profile

Year: 1992

When it comes to eating pussy one person comes to mind more than any other and that man is JCD. Straight out the gate he calls out everyone! “There’s two types of Motherfuckers who eat pussy, those who do and those who say they don’t”.

The track is filled with numerous quotable lines like “we all eat pussy even the niggas who front hard/moustache smelling like menstrual discharge”, “I got a gang of dick/my tongue can tie a noose and hang the bitch” and “ 69 is fine for JCD/ I got a yard of tongue to go deep sea – fishing”. The chorus itself is in itself is amazing just a gang of dudes chanting repeatedly “Bon apetit, all niggas eat pussy” with Tilo listing off the types of pussy “fat pussy, long pussy, stinky pussy, all pussy is good”.

This is a masterpiece that sadly didn’t leave the stain on the silk panties of hip-hop that it should have.