There isn’t
a man alive who doesn’t love to get their dick sucked and that’s a straight up
fact. I love it, you love it even motherfucking Bill Clinton loves it. So in
celebration of man's greatest invention, I decided to pick out 7 of the best blowjob
tracks Hip-Hop have to offer. So sit back, unzip your pants and enjoy.
Album: Sports Weekend (As Nasty as they Wanna Be Part II)
Label: Luke/Atlantic Records
Year: 1991
Baby Baby
Please (Just a Little More Head) is from the often overlooked and underrated Sports Weekend (As Nasty as they Wanna Be
Part II). Brother Marquis and Fresh Kid Ice decide to take a trip down memory
lane and reminisce about the first time they received head. It’s a silly simple
track that always leaves a grin on my face, especially with lines like “I
remember the first time I got a blowjob/you know what I mean, when she slobs on
bob” and Mr Mixx’s cuts which are just brilliant. If this track was done by anyone
one else this track wouldn’t make the list, but because of their 2 Live charm
they make the list.
6: Akinyele
– Take a Lick:
Album: Aktapuss
Label: Volcano
Year: 1999
Everyone and
there grandmother has listened to Akinyele’s ‘Put it in your Mouth’. However
everyone seems to forget the hilarious and often overlooked ‘Take a Lick’.
The track
has Akinyele going head to head against a woman who refuses to suck the
Anakonda. Rather than back down, or act submissive, Akinyele attacks the situation head on. Telling her by the end of the night he will be doing Bobby Brown Push-ups (which is when she sucks your dick while doing push-ups). All hope seemed loss until Akinyele took a bold and daring move. Akinyele offered to eat her pussy if she sucked his dick. Such boldness was unheard of; however she took the bait and for the rest of the night they 69'd, its straight out of a fairy tale!
5 & 4 N.W.A.
– Just Don’t Bite It & She Swallowed It:
As if these two wouldn't be on the list! N.W.A’s ‘Just Don’t Bite’ & ‘She Swallowed It’ are nasty ass classics.
Album: 100 Miles and Runnin'
Label: Ruthless Records
Year: 1990
Just Don’t Bite It’s intro is literally just a woman
sucking on Eazy-E’s dick, directly followed by a faux advertisement for The Art of Sucking Dick. Production for
sounds like it’s taken straight from a 70’s porno flick. Ren comes on point
sharing two tales of raunch and debauchery, first verse is very much a set-up
for verse two, reminiscing about high school and a chick who wouldn’t give him
the time of day.
This leads
right into the second verse in which MC Ren proceeds to blackmail her into
sucking his dick! However the villainous personality that is MC Ren doesn’t
stop there.
The third
verse has MC Ren straight up manipulating a drunken woman into sucking his dick.
Playing the long game, Ren sits there and listens to her boring ass stories and
keeping her drunk until dawn. Where he takes her to the restroom to have her
suck on his dick before she sobers up and regrets it!
She Swallowed
It is very much a sequel to Just Don’t Bite It, it uses the same samples of Skillet
& Leroy & Lawanda and Just Ice for the chorus but switching up the
production for a more gangsta feel rather than a porno ones.
While the
production may be more gangsta Ren’s lyrics are nastier than ever! In She
Swallowed It MC Ren decides to ditch on a date that wouldn’t put out and join
in on 5 strangers having a gangbang. That doesn’t sound like much until you
find out the chick is the local preacher’s 14 year old daughter! MC Ren is a
straight up Villain.
3: Too $hort
– Blowjob Betty:
Album: Get In Where You Fit In
Label: Jive Records
Year: 1993
Too $hort’s
‘Blowjob Betty’ can be considered more concentrated version of ‘Freaky Tales’.
Rather than talking about the numerous women he’s fucked, Too $hort decided to
take 5 minutes and reminisce about the infamous Blowjob Betty.
Blowjob
Betty is bitch that loves to suck dick and was damn good at it. Following the
old pimp motto “The Game is to be Sold not Told” Too $hort decides to pimp her
out. However things don’t pan out to well as she breaks the ultimate pimp
commandment, and that is not to give out the pussy for free. So in true
Too $hort style he drops the bitch.
The song escalates
to an insane level by the end of the song. 6 months later he bumps into her
still doing her thing and gets her to suck his dick right then and there. Now
here is where it gets crazy, he then proceeds to cum in her throat causing her to choke to death! This is one of the only
songs in history where a sex related death occurred that wasn’t HIV related.
2: Disco
Rick & The Dogs – Lick It:
Album: The Dogs
Label: JR Records
Year: 1990
There is not
much you can say about this track apart from the fact that Disco Rick & the
Dogs are the most underrated Miami Bass group in existence. When you open a
track by emphatically yelling “NOW LICK THAT DICK BIIIIITCH” and jump straight
into a parody of Devo’s ‘Whip It’ with samples of Leroy & Skillet &
Lawanda playing throughout the track, you get on this list. This is a grossly
overlooked Miami Bass classic that deserves your attention.
1: Willie D
Feat. Rasir X & Sho – Throat:
Album: Play Witcha Mama
Label: Wrap Records
Year: 1994
When it
comes to Blowjob tracks nothing beats Willie D’s Throat. The track opens with
Willie D casually talking seductively like a Barry White from 5th
Ward, Texas. However in true Willie D fashion rather than beating around the
bush he gets straight to the nitty gritty letting you know he wants a woman who
can “Suck a nut, chew a little butt” and all that good shit. Immediately
afterwards you are thrown straight into the chorus with a man emphatically
singing “Take my manhood/deep throat baby like a woman should/why don’t you
show me how good it can be/taking all of me”. The track itself is absolutely
hilarious, with Willie D, Rasir X & Sho coming in with absolutely genius,
downright dirty dick sucking lyrics. However Rasir X steals the show with
probably the greatest metaphor in human history, “Got mouth sopped like a mop/
when it comes to dick slop, she don’t waste one drop”. I will also tell you
this right now, the chorus of this song will guarantee you getting your dick
sucked, Willie D decided to take the subliminal approach and have the chorus
literally be “Throat, throat, throat, throat on”. Hands down greatest blowjob track there is!
